(Radioactive Breakfast Cereal
by Vanessa Wells
Leticia Brave blinked owlishly at her eighty-five-year-old grandmother happily munching a big bowl full of bran cereal-2000 miles from where she was supposed to be in Florida.
Wait…that wasn’t the high-fiber soy protein Leticia normally ate…
Her grandmother gave her a happy grin. “Yes dear?”
“I’d ask how you happened to end up on a mountain in Alaska at five a.m., but that’s a conversation that’s best left after coffee. In the meantime…did you bring anymore granola cereal?”
“What do you mean dear? This is yours. I found it on the cabinet.” She crunched another bite. “I must say, it’s delicious.”
Grammy didn’t offer any other comment and Leticia was too tired to remember why that bowl of breakfast was tugging at the back of her mind.
She brushed off the feeling of unease and made a beeline for the coffee pot. Even the smell of that percolating goodness made the blood flow a little toward her brain, and she found herself sipping a rich black cup of coffee and pondering the silver canister that held the remaining cereal…
“We have to call 911, or induce vomiting, or…I don’t know Grammy, but that stuff is untested hamster food grown on the site of a meteor crash…it was still radioactive when we showed up!”
Leticia, who had been literally running around her kitchen island in a circle, stopped long enough to realize her grandmother hadn’t moved. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you moving?”
Her grandmother poured a cup of coffee and took a measured sip. “Because even if there’s a helicopter available, chances are, if it’s poison it will kill me before we could get to a hospital. Because the chances of a hospital anywhere short of Juno having a treatment for radiation are slim to none…because I’m over eighty years old and I don’t see any reason to get fussed over something as silly as accidentally eating what is essentially a whole grain product.”
“You forgot the part about it being produced on the site of a meteor landing…and the fact that the ground was still showing signs of radiation…and the fact that hamsters that were fed the ‘organic’ hamster food tended to die.”
Grammy just added a little more milk to her coffee. “And why did you have a canister of the food in your kitchen?”
“I work from home Grammy. I was going to send the sample into the lab, and I guess it didn’t get into the box.”
“So it was sitting on your counter to tempt random visitors.”
Her jaw clinched. “I don’t have visitors Grammy. My closest neighbor comes to his house by plane twice a year. How the heck did you get up here for a surprise visit anyway?”
“That nice young man who likes you so much-the pilot who brings your supplies? He dropped me off, neat as you please when he picked up your cargo this morning. You really should make the effort to be awake and have your face on when he visits dear…it’s not like handsome young men drop out of the sky every day.”
“No, he only shows up twice a month.” And she made a special effort to be away or asleep when he came.
She eyed her grandmother with concern. “Are you having any symptoms? Cramping, nausea, dizziness?”
Grammy sighed. “I’m fine.” She cocked her head to the side slightly. “Well if you discount the urge to nibble on copper wire.”
Leticia groaned. “Don’t joke about things like that…besides I think that’s rats, not hamsters…wait…you were joking, right?’
“Calm down child! Yes of course, I was joking. You need to sit and have a bowl of that disgusting fiber-rich bark that you eat for breakfast.”
“It’s soy protean.”
Grammy sniffed disdainfully. “It looks like something you’d scrape off a log.”
Lexie laughed at the comment and felt her cereal cannister slip from her fingers.
She flinched, waiting on the chrome and glass thing to shatter into a thousand pieces.
No sound. Eventually she opened her eyes.
She looked at the spot where Grammy had been. Then looked into her grandmother’s eyes as the older lady held the cereal.
Leticia took the canister and looked at it, her quick mind analyzing, but not quite believing. “You can’t move that fast Grammy. Nobody can move that fast. Physics are a thing.”
Her grandmother cleared her throat with a delicate cough. “I wasn’t moving fast You were just slow.”
A rarely seen look of confusion crossed the much-beloved face. “It did seem that it was.”
Leticia took a deep breath. “Alright, let’s see if other things are moving slow too…”
She threw the chrome and glass canister at the wall as hard as she could.
And before she could blink, Grammy was there, slightly out of breath, a bit startled to be there…but she was holding the canister.
“Not that I generally approve of wasting food dear, but tossing this stuff would add a little joy to your life….”
“Do it again.”
“What?” Her grandmother smiled. “This?” And suddenly she was standing beside Leticia again.
She couldn’t keep the awe out of her voice as she said “You are Super Grammy.”
“I was always super, dear. Having super powers just means I’ll be able to knit faster.”
Leticia laughed in a slightly hysterical way. “You hate knitting.”
“I know, but I bet I would like it better now if it didn’t take up so much gosh-darned time.”
Storytime Quarterly Blog Hop
January, April, July, and October
Be sure and check out the other fun stories below. Leave us a comment we love hearing from you!
1. Trail Of Carnage by Jemma Weir
2. A Phoenix In Hell by Sabrina Rosen
3. Friends Of The Deep by G. Craddock
4. Collateral Damage by Nic Steven
5. A Ghost’s Life by Barbara Lund
6. A Startling Revelation by Bill Bush
7. A Hiding Place by Gina Fabio
8. A Family Reunion by Katharina Gerlach
9. Better Off Alone by V. S. Stark
10. A Day In The Life by James Husum
11. Nothing To Show by Elizabeth McCleary
12. Super Grammy (Radioactive Breakfast Cereal)
by Vanessa Wells <–You Are Here!
13. Bone Killer by Juneta Key
14. One More Time by Karen Lynn
10 Replies to “Super Grammy (Radioactive Breakfast Cereal by Vanessa Wells Storytime Blog Hop”
LOL – very cute! I’m not ready to be a grammy, but I wouldn’t mind having that power!
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